


Love, hope, and misery

by wolfypuppypiles



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Blood, Forced Sedation, Gore, Graphic, Hurt Alec, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Medical Procedures, Pain, Parabatai Bond, Protective Magnus Bane, Restraints, Torture, Whump, Worried Magnus, but there will be fluff eventually, drugged, im evil im sorry, worried Jace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-11-18 16:17:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11294259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfypuppypiles/pseuds/wolfypuppypiles
Summary: “Magnus!” He couldn’t move, he was fading fast, and his voice wasn’t loud enough.“Magnus…please!” His cry for help was nothing but a desperate whisper and the hooded figure standing over him, tilted their head in inquisition before Alec’s vision finally turned to black.Alec is taken by the Seelie, killing Shadowhunters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is actually so bad idk man please tell me what you think anyway and if you have any suggestions i love hearing from you
> 
> title from the jake bug song

“Get out.” 

Magnus had been so hurt, and Alec had, once again, not known how to fix it. What kind of boyfriend did that make him? He had wanted to go back and talk but Mangus’ doors were locked and he knew he wouldn’t be allowed in for a while. 

Although it didn’t seem like their small fight was the only thing bothering Mangus. Alec hadn’t missed the fact that the warlock’s personal barriers were up, wearing more makeup and using it and his extravagant wardrobe as armor. He knew it had to be about what the Clave had done to him when stick in valentine’s body, but Magnus wouldn’t talk until he was ready, and now it didn’t look like he wanted to talk at all. 

Alec sighed, missing him already. 

He was trying to think of some way to apologize when something caught his attention. His instincts were screaming at him, telling him something was wrong without knowing exactly what was making him feel that way. Like something moving in the corner of your vision. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was but something was making his skin crawl.   
He stopped walking, barely a block from Magnus’ apartment. And took out his bow, notching an arrow and spinning slowly as he tried to figure out where the threat was. It was like the air was shifting slightly, telling him there was someone close by, but he didn’t see anybody. 

He heard something behind him, the shift of a foot on concrete, a foot that was trying very hard to be quiet, and he turned only to feel something pinch his neck. Alec grunted as a needle was slammed into him, as his bow was pushed aside with a firm hand, his own hands suddenly limp as he fell to his knees. 

A dark figure was moving towards him, and he couldn’t see who it was, and although his vision was filling with black spots, he knew he had to fight or be taken by the Nephilim murderer that had been carving out runes. Because this had to be them. 

Too confident in their plan, the figure moved too close, close enough for Alec to swing his seraph blade at. The blade cut through the air, slicing the sleeve of his attacker, and leaving an angry green line in their arm. Green, that was strange. 

The hooded figure let out a cry of indignation before kicking Alec square in the chest. His vision blurred white with pain as he felt his ribs crack, and toppled to the ground, holding his hands out to try and stop the attackers next blow. But the fist came towards his face, hard and fast. 

Alec could no longer fight, his body giving in to the drug that was coursing through his veins. He needed help. 

“Magnus!” He couldn’t move, he was fading fast, and his voice wasn’t loud enough. 

“Magnus…please!” His cry for help was nothing but a desperate whisper and the hooded figure standing over him, tilted their head in inquisition before Alec’s vision finally turned to black. 

...........................................

 

Lights… chains….cold. Alec squinted his eyes shut, trying to breathe through the fog in his brain. Bright beams of light flew past his face, screaming down from above in strobes as he moved…somewhere. Chains rattled and water dripped; it was cold and he was lying on something. 

He tried to reach a hand up to his face, to shield his eyes from the lights, only to find himself restrained. And that’s when the panic settled in. 

He tugged at the cuffs around his wrists, grunting at the pain it elicited from his chest. Definitely broken. A voice echoed through the room as the metal table he was laid out on, was parked in a room, next to trays of horrid looking tools. 

“Struggle all you like, I’m going to have fun carving into you either way. And that big rune on your neck? That’s going to be fun. Although messy. Might have to save it for last, I wouldn’t want to accidentally cut your carotid, or you’d bleed out too fast and miss all the fun.”

...........................................

“Just give me a list of everyone you already have and we’ll go from the…” Jace blinked, shivering as he pressed a hand to his chest, where his Parabatai rune lived. Isabelle frowned and took his elbow. 

“Jace? You okay? You’re shaking.”

He panted as he shook his head. “Something’s wrong with Alec. I felt it before, like he was worried about something but I just figured he was having trouble convincing Magnus about the DNA. But something’s wrong, he’s hurt and… really scared.”

He looked down at the goose bumps that had appeared on his skin and the way he was still shivering. “He’s cold.”

Izzy could barely breathe. “What if the killer got him. He would have been walking home alone, after talking to Magnus.” 

Jace’s heart screamed at him at the thought and the way his Parabatai rune was aching. By the angel, Alec was in serious trouble. 

“We have to find him. Call Magnus, we should use a portal to wherever we track Alec to, we might not have much time to stop whoever’s got him before they…”

Izzy didn’t wait for him to finish, already pulling out her phone and impatiently tapping her finger against the back of it as she waited for the warlock to pick up. 

“Isabelle, if you’re calling to plead your brothers case-“ Magnus’ tone was sullen but Izzy didn’t have time to ask why. 

“Alec’s missing, we think the Shadowhunter killers got him. We need a portal, he’s in trouble, Magnus.” 

A pause, then a hurried voice and the sound of fingers clicking. “I’m coming to you.”

...........................................

Alec struggled in his binds, fully panicking now that the figure over him was picking out her tools. He was trained to be unafraid in battle, but this was no fight, this was going to be his murder and there wasn’t anything he could do to stop it. 

He would die in this damp, dark room, and his family would find his body dumped somewhere in the street. Izzy would do an autopsy and Jace would feel him die. Little Max had just come back home to start his training and Alec would never get to see his little brother grow up. 

He’d never be able to apologize to Magnus for their fight, and he’d never be able to say I love you, to anyone, ever again. He was going to die alone, at the hands of some stranger. 

His heart beat wildly in his chest, as his breathing escalated into hyperventilation, and he continued to struggle uselessly. 

It was dark in the room he was in, wherever he was, and he could still hear water dripping. Although in this particular situation it wasn’t unlikely that the dripping was actually blood. This thought did nothing to calm Alec down. 

The hooded figure ran her fingers over the tools in front of her, sighing as she picked one up and admired it. Alec could see her long hair now, and the gentle curve of her fingers, knowing she was indeed female by her soft voice although it was lace with something sinister. 

“I haven’t gotten to use this one yet. I was waiting for someone special, and you, Alec Lightwood, are a big deal. One of New York’s best fighters, I hear. And taken down by one seelie? How embarrassing. The Clave will remember how dangerous we can be, how powerful. They can’t squash us under their boot like some ant.”

If she was a seelie that would explain why her blood had been green. But why would she want to make the killings look like multiple downworlder attacks? How would that help her?

Alec knew that Jace had to be feeling his fear, the way his cheat and head ached, so if he could just stall, he might be rescued in time. 

“Why are you doing this? It won’t change anything, it’ll only make it worse.”

The woman turned around, lip curled in disgust as she ran the tip of the blade, lightly across Alec’s arm. Not deep enough to cut, only make him shiver at the cold and touch of something so sharp. 

“My brother was killed because of that stupid sword, activated by your Parabatai. Jace wasn’t even punished, because he’s one of you, and none of you really care about any of us. But you’re his brother, he’ll come looking for your killer, and when he does, I’ll get him and I’ll kill him. And I’ll do it slowly.”

Her sneer turned into a smile, as a lone tear trailed down her cheek. “Now, let’s get started, shall we? I want to savor this.” 

She took hold of the front of his shirt, and sliced it open in one swipe, the knife sharp enough for the motion to be smooth and uninterrupted. Alec shivered harder as the cold air hit his bare chest, and he pulled at his restraints once more. If he didn’t do something soon, he would die. 

“Please, don’t do this. He didn’t mean to, it was an accident. He thought touching the sword would destroy it, he was trying to save you!”

The seelie woman ignored his protests and took a deep, longing breath, as she placed the tip of the knife on his skin, on his side, where his iratz rune lived. He didn’t know if she was doing that one first on purpose, but if she cut into that one, it wouldn’t be usable and he wouldn’t be able to heal himself, even if he did manage to escape. 

He could barely breathe as he felt the cold knife against his skin, and his whole body tensed and stopped moving, so as to avoid slicing himself open with it. But the seelie did that all on her own, as she pressed the blade into his skin, splitting him apart. 

He grit his teeth to try and keep from making any noise, not wanting to give her the satisfaction, but she dug the knife in and started to carve and he couldn’t hold back. A scream ripped from his throat as she cut him open, blood spilling and trailing down his side to rain droplets onto the floor.

He was going to die, but first he was going to suffer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS THEY MADE ME SOOO HAPPYY! You guys are seriously the best which is why I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do to your poor souls. I promise I actually love Alec and this will have a good ending.

A portal tore the air apart and Magnus fell through, looking ruffled and panicked as Izzy had ever seen him. He was far from the calm and collected he usually was.   
“Have you tracked him? Where is he?”

Izzy nodded, she’d used one of her brother’s shirts to track him and gotten a location a few blocks from where he’d been snatched.   
“Yes, but we need to hurry; the other shadowhunters were killed within a few hours of going missing and we still don’t know who’s taking them.” 

Magnus shook his head, looking sick as he presented Alec’s bow and quiver.  
“I found these not far from my apartment. There was blood on the ground with them, some of it was Alec’s but there was also blood belonging to a seelie.” 

Izzy was about to say something else when Jace suddenly let out a scream, one of agony and terror so deep that it made Izzy shiver, and the whole institute go quiet.   
“Alec!” 

The blonde pressed a hand to his Parabatai rune as his knees buckled, almost sending him to the ground. He lent heavily against a table as Magnus and Isabelle lent their hands to keep him standing. 

“What is it? Jace, what’s happening?”

He gasped, eyes wide with fear as he tried to speak through the pain, tears flowing down his cheeks.   
“They’re hurting him, his runes are being cut out. Izzy, it hurts so bad, we have to find him.”

Magnus dropped his boyfriend’s weapons and clicked his fingers as he summoned another portal. Izzy wrapped one of Jace’s arms around her shoulders and lead the way, Magnus following close behind. 

.......................................

Alec screamed and tried to allow himself to pass out, as the seelie cut his side in an arc, savoring her task.   
It was an agony he’d never experienced before, and it was all consuming. He felt the blade split his skin, and separate it from his body. He couldn’t stop himself from pulling at his restraints, yanking hard as he could, but the pain of his wrists cutting on the leather was a drop in the ocean compared to what the seelie was doing.

He begged her to stop, begged for Magnus to save him, begged every angel he could think of, to just let him die so that he wouldn’t have to hurt anymore. But the pain continued and all he could do was scream.

He was so thoroughly blinded by the pain that he didn’t even notice the portal appearing in the room, or the people that spilled out of it. All he knew what that the knife was out of him and the seelie was grabbing a bigger one. He blinked his pain blurred eyes but she wasn’t looking at him. She looked angry and someone was shouting though her lips didn’t move. 

He begged her to stop, gasping through his words. 

“Please stop, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, just don’t hurt me anymore. And don’t hurt Jace, it wasn’t his fault.”

There was more shouting and then more pain and then all he could see were those beautiful eyes that he’d fallen in love with not so long ago. 

.......................................

Magnus closed the portal behind him and ignited red flames in his hands, curling the magic into balls of concentrated power that he could throw at the seelie girl standing over his boyfriend. 

Jace groaned in pain but drew his seraph blade and tried to stand on his shaky legs, feeling sick at the blood pouring from his brother’s side. Izzy let go of the blonde, taking out her own blade as she tried to focus on the threat and not the pool of red on the ground. 

The seelie dropped the blade she was holding and picked up a larger one, holding it over her victim’s chest as a threat. Magnus aimed his palms towards her and took a step forward, halting his movement when the seelie jerked the knife closer to Alec’s chest. 

“Drop the knife!” 

The girl did no such thing, eyeing the three with contempt as Alec mumbled out pleas. Her eyes found Jace and she smiled in a horrid, anguished way that made Jace’s stomach twist with worry. 

“You killed my brother, Shadowhunter, now I’m going to kill yours.”

Izzy let out a yell as Magnus gave another warning.   
“No!”

“Drop the knife, or I will kill you!”

But that knife came down with a savage thrust, and buried itself up to the hilt in Alec’s chest. 

Jace and Alec screamed in sync as Magnus threw two balls of magic at the seelie, hitting her in the chest and sending her crashing into the wall behind her, before she slumped to the cold ground, dead.

Izzy sprinted towards Alec as Jace crumpled to the floor in pain.   
“Alec! By the angel, Magnus, help me.”

The knife was sticking up out of the Nephilim, as he gasped and choked on the blood filling his mouth. Magnus quickly dragged Jace over to the table that his brother was strapped to, and sat him on a stool before taking in the damage. 

There was a cut on Alec’s side, about six inches long, as well as deep bruising across his ribs and cheek. And then of course there was the knife sticking out of him.   
Magnus could barely stand to look at his loves face, knowing it would be too hard to concentrate on what he needed to, but the shadowhunter was struggling in his restraints and trying to speak as he looked desperately at his warlock. 

“M..gnus.” He was choking on his own blood, suffocating, and still trying to get Magnus to look at him. Jace groaned from his seat and took Alec’s hand in his, feeling everything his brother did.

“He’s scared. Magnus, please, talk to him.”

Jace could feel not only the pain and fear, but the longing that Alec had to talk to his boyfriend. He wanted to say sorry for their fight, to tell him he loved him, but all that came out was gasps and coughs. 

Magnus tore his eyes away from the bloody mess, as Isabelle began stabilizing the knife and wrapping pieces of Alec’s ruined shirt over his wounds. Magnus brushed Alec’s hair back and tried to sound calm as he met his eyes. 

“I’m here love. Everything’s going to be okay, just stay still and try not to speak. We got you, it’s all right.” 

The Nephilim forced his words out, tears spilling from his eyes.

“..’m sorry.” He heaved for breath, barely able to get enough air in, and every effort he took only caused more pain. It was if someone was sitting on his chest, and it hurt so badly but he had to tell Magnus, had to make it right. 

The warlock offered a wobbly smile and stroked Alec’s cheek with warm fingers.

“Shhh, darling. It’s all alright now. I love you.” He pressed a kiss to Alec’s forehead and tried not to think about how likely it was, that this was the last time he’d be able to say it.   
Alec tried to reply but only coughed instead, scrunching his eyes shut at the pain, and pulling at the restraints once more, hoping that they’d be undone. 

Jace moved forward to untie the straps holding Alec’s wrists down, but Izzy stopped him. 

“I know it sounds awful, but they have to stay on for now. He has a tension pneumothorax and I need to drain and re-inflate his lung or he won’t be able to breathe. It’s going to hurt and I can’t have him moving while I do it.”

Her hands were already coated in red, carefully pressing down on the makeshift bandages around the knife. She used one hand to press Jace’s palms to the pieces of shirt covering the other cut. 

“Jace hold this and keep pressure on it, try to talk to Alec and keep him calm. Magnus, I need you to try and stop the bleeding as much as you can. Focus on this knife wound for now, and heal it from the inside; I need to be able to remove the knife without him losing too much blood, so that I can work on the lung. Can you do that?”

Magnus nodded and tried to focus as he held his hands over the knife. Healing wasn’t as easy as clicking your fingers and muttering a spell, although many thought that was all it was. No, healing took patience and practice and skill, all of which Mangus had, but what he didn’t have was time. Healing with magic was as delicate as a doctor healing with tools. Magnus had to find the damage and the best way to fix it, and then concentrate and summon his magic to the parts that needed healing. 

He had his eyes closed as he led his magic through Alec’s wound, searching for damage that may have to be fixed quicker. He sealed off blood vessels and healed the veins and muscle that he could, with the knife still inside, slowing the bleeding down. 

Izzy’s quiet voice drifted into his awareness. “Did it hit his pulmonary artery?” She knew that if it had, they’d have to seal it or Alec would die very quickly.

Magnus shook his head, fingers curling and uncurling as he commanded his magic. “No, but the knife’s in his lung and blood is filling it.”

Izzy nodded and bit her lip anxiously. “Okay, stop the bleeding as much as you can and keep doing it when I take the knife out. I need to get supplies, Jace hold this.”

Jace had been muttering reassurances to his brother but stopped momentarily to hold the bandages around the knife as Izzy went to fetch what she needed. 

She was lucky the seelie liked her medical tools, albeit for the use of torture, because she found needles and towels nearby. She grabbed both and turned back, only for her feet to falter. When it was up close, with her hands and mind focused on what she needed to do, it was easier to concentrate. But now, looking at her big brother strapped to a table and crying, begging for the pain to stop, she couldn’t be impartial. She had Alec’s blood on her hands and on her clothes and his whimpers and choked, gasps of pain filled the room, making it hard for her to concentrate. 

She needed to be strong and focus. She needed to save him. The shadowhunter shook her head, as if to clear it, and took her tools back to the tray beside the table. 

“Okay, I’ll use the needle to suck the air out of his chest and drain and the blood, while Magnus stops the bleeding and heals the wound. Jace keep pressure on that cut and keep Alec calm, we can’t have him moving.” She was back in control. 

She whispered a small apology to her brother and prayed to all the angels she knew the names of, as she prepared to torture her brother. She knew it was to save him but that didn’t make it any easier.

“I’m so, so sorry Alec.” 

This was really going to suck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooryyyyy i hope you like it tho? PLLLLEEEAASSE tell me what you think it helps me write the next chapter if i have ur input and support. and don't worry ive already written most of the next chapter so it shouldnt be too long away


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly: I have no medical training so this chapter is probably super inaccurate but I did my best so please forgive me for any mistakes and feel free to point them out. Secondly: I wasn’t sure if shadowhunters had the same level of medical care as mundanes but from that tiny scene in the last episode with the doctor checking over clary, it seems they do so I used that for this chapter, hope it doesn’t seem too out of place.
> 
> Also thank you for the support and comments!! It makes me super happy and i really appreciate it so keep them coming!

Jace held his brothers hand and tried to talk to him, but he could barely speak through the pain and panic coming through his Parabatai rune. He watched, with tear filled eyes, as his big brother, his other half, struggled in his restraints. He was still choking on the blood in his mouth, and trying to breathe with a knife in his chest. He was so, so, scared and his panicked eyes blurred with pain and tears as he begged his loved ones to stop hurting him. 

“Pl..ease. Stop. Hurts. M..gnus, s..top.”

He was sobbing as Izzy slid a needle into his skin, stabbing it all the way into his lung, and it hurt so much. He just wanted it to end. 

Jace moved closer to Alec’s head, with Magnus and Izzy working on the other side, and tried to find something to say to keep him calm. 

“Alec, I’m so sorry. They’re going to fix you up, I promise it’ll be over soon. Just focus on my…ughhh.” His Parabatai rune burned again, making his voice falter as he moaned in sync with Alec. He gasped and tried again. 

“Focus on my voice. Everything’s okay. Hey, do you remember that time when we were little and you, me and Izzy snuck off for some demon hunting? We weren’t even fifteen, and way too eager so we tried to take on a forsaken by ourselves. We almost died about a dozen times before finally getting the thing down. Izzy was crying because she’d gotten a cut on her arm, right over one of her runes, and I’d been an idiot and gotten myself thrown into a wall. 

“My ankle was broken and we were so worried we’d get in trouble. But you told us everything would be okay, you said you’d always protect us, no matter what. So, you carried me home and held Izzy’s hand the whole way, even though you’d broken some ribs. You didn’t care, you just ignored it to protect us. And then, when mom started yelling, you said it was your fault and took the punishment.

“Everything will be okay, Alec, because me and Izzy will always protect you. Magnus too. It’s your turn to be saved so just, try to keep calm, I know it hurts, but you will be okay.”   
Alec groaned again, fingers twitching in Jace’s grasp, before the screaming started again. His voice was hoarse and worn but still, agony ripped from his mouth. 

Izzy was slowly taking the knife out of his chest, being as gentle as she could, while Magnus tried to heal what he could.   
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Alec, it’ll be over soon, I promise just stay awake!”

They moved slowly, only prolonging the pain for Alec, but had no choice as blood seeped from the wound. Finally, the knife was out and Alec’s sobbing faded, leaving only strained gasps as Izzy frantically tried to re-inflate his lung.

“Almost there, Alec, stay awake!”

His eyes were drifting shut, vision tunnelling as the darkness threatened to close in on him. Isabelle was well aware of the risks of what she was doing. The amount of pain and trauma as well as the continuous blood loss, posed a huge risk for not only infection but also shock, and if Alec went into shock he could die very quickly. But she had to get his breathing sorted and the bleeding stopped before they could portal him anywhere else for further treatment. 

The knife clattered against the tray of torture tools, when she dropped it, and although she couldn’t stop her task to look at her brother’s face, she knew they were losing him. She’d just managed to re-inflate the lung and drain it, when Jace started letting out panicked mumbles. 

“No, no, no, Alec. Wake up. Open your eyes!”

Alec had tried to fight the darkness but was so strong and he was so, so tired, he’d been dragged down so quickly. He had managed to take one last look at the people he loved, Izzy’s face tight with concentration, Jace’s wet, wide, eyes, and Magnus. Magnus had been as beautiful as ever, his eyes closed as he focused on his magic. Alec had wanted to see the warlock’s beautiful eyes one last time, but he hadn’t even had the energy to say his loves name. 

So, he sent a silent apology to them all, and fell into unconsciousness.

Izzy dropped the syringe as all eyes found Alec’s lax face, eyes rolled back into his head, his ashen lips parted. She hovered a blood-stained hand over his mouth, only to pull it back with a curse. 

“He’s stopped breathing! Magnus close the wound, I’m starting compression's!”

Jace started crying again as Isabelle laced her fingers over the archer’s breast bone, pressing down on his chest in even beats. 

“Alec, come on. Don’t do this.” The fine line of separation she’d had between the body she was working on, and the person it belonged to, was being broken and she let out a sob as she pressed down on her big brother’s chest, begging him to breathe. 

Magnus could barely concentrate on closing the stab wound, could barely summon his magic, and it wasn’t just because of how tired and drained he was, it was because, Alec, his love, was dying under his hands. They hadn’t even spent a year together and he was already losing him. 

Against his better judgment, he opened his eyes to look at Alec’s face, hands beginning to shake at the sight of his boyfriend looking so thoroughly dead. Jace was in hysterics, whole body shaking as he tried to breathe through the agony of his Parabatai rune. He could feel Alec slipping away, and the panic was consuming him. 

Izzy wasn’t much better, pressing frantically down on her brother’s chest as she cried and begged him to come back. 

He had to do something, he couldn’t lose Alec. He refused to lose him. Feeling every wave of emotion, he had, every ounce of panic and grief, he poured them all into his hands; strengthening his magic and urging it to finish its work quickly. He muttered in an ancient language, one that all but few tongues had forgotten, and commanded the energy around him to lend itself to his aid.

His hands glowed and burned with energy, and slowly Alec’s cells and muscles knit back together; fusing the wound, and stopping the bleeding until there was nothing left but blood stains and a pink scar.

The warlock slumped slightly, feeling drained after using so much magic, and looked to his love’s face. Izzy was still counting out compression's, but nothing was happening, and Jace was getting more frantic, sobbing into Alec’s hair where he pressed his face to his brother’s neck. 

“Alec, please don’t leave me. Come back!”

It couldn’t be over. He wouldn’t let it. Magnus summoned a spark of energy and pressed his palm to Alec’s chest, dislodging Izzy’s hands. He sent the jolt of energy through the Nephilim and waited. It was a simple spell, just a boost of energy like a kick of caffeine, that he hoped would give Alec’s exhausted heart, enough strength to keep going.

After four, much too long seconds, Alec finally sucked in a breath and coughed harshly, his panting breaths sounding wet and strained, but there. 

Izzy and Jace heaved twin sighs of relief, as Magnus untied one of Alec’s wrist and pressed those pale knuckles to his lips.   
“You’ll be okay, everything’s okay.”

The warlocks tired eyes met with Isabelle’s tear-filled ones.   
“Let’s get him home.” 

......................................................

The institute exploded into chaos as soon as the four portalled in, Izzy screaming over the bustle of activity in the old church. She kept her hands on her brother, pressing down on the cut over his side while Mangus and Jace wheeled the gurney towards the infirmary. 

“I need help, Alec’s been hurt!”

Shadowhunters rushed over, gasping at the mess of blood and pale skin on the gurney. Alec still looked dead, though he was breathing again.

A young Nephilim named Anita, ran over panting. She’d worked with Isabelle in the infirmary before, as a nurse, and was one of the only people Izzy would trust to work on her brother. 

“What do you need?”

Izzy nodded to her gratefully as she gave out orders, running alongside the gurney as it sped onwards, finally stopping in a large white room full of supplies and proper medical equipment.

“I need to set up a chest tube and blood bags, as well as saline and some heavy-duty pain meds. He’s got a tension pneumothorax that I’ve drained and re-inflated but we need to keep an eye on it, and he’s already lost too much blood. I want oxygen on him and some heating blankets, we almost lost him a few minutes ago and I don’t want him going into shock. I still need to stitch up this wound on his side and nothing has been disinfected or washed out. After we stop the bleeding and get clear chest sounds we can worry about the possible broken ribs and concussion.” 

Anita pulled out some gloves and snapped them on, looking over her patient with capable eyes. 

“You drained his lung in the field?” Her tone wasn’t accusatory; it had been done before.

Izzy nodded as Anita began placing IV lines, hanging saline and blood, before adding morphine to the mix.   
“Had to. I couldn’t knock him out either, it was…awful.”

An oxygen mask was placed on Alec’s face before the nurse took over Izzy’s hold on Alec’s wound so that she could wash and glove her hands. She lifted the soaked towel enough to see what was underneath, and paled significantly. 

“He was attacked by the ones killing shadowhunters? His runes almost completely cut off!”

Izzy nodded as she scrubbed at her hands, watching the red swirl down the drain, ignoring the sting of the disinfectant.

“Yes. It was one seelie acting alone the whole time. She tortured him.” She clenched her jaw and raised her chin, blinking away her tears before they could fall.   
“She’s dead.” They’d take care of the body later, and send someone in to clean up the mess they left behind.

Anita nodded, going back to her task. She didn’t realize Jace and Magnus were still there until Jace spoke, his voice quiet and tired.   
“Is he going to be okay?”

Izzy dried her hands and pulled on some gloves as she offered her brother a smile. 

“I have all the equipment I need now. I’ll fix him up, and he won’t feel a thing. Magnus, I know you want to help but you’ve used too much magic already and I can’t have you passing out.” She pulled on a lab coat, to cover her already ruined clothes as Anita added.

“Why don’t you two get cleaned up, and we’ll come get you once we’re finished.”

Jace nodded and wiped at his eyes, before retreating with Magnus. Neither of them wanted to leave but they couldn’t help, and couldn’t bear to watch anymore.   
Izzy lost her smile as soon as they turned away, more worried than she wanted them to know. Alec wasn’t out of the woods yet, and even once he healed he would have enough phycological trauma to last him a lifetime. 

Anita saw and offered a reassuring smile. “You’re the best at this Isabelle, he’ll be okay.”

Izzy nodded and got back to work. She disinfected the wound and stitched it, placing a new iratz rune over Alec’s arm, to speed up healing. Antibiotics were added to the mix of ingredients going into his IV cocktail, and a chest tube was placed to keep his lung inflated. 

She was in her element, reading stats and machines, placing bandages over her neat line of stitches. She was in control, and everything was okay again. Alec’s vitals’ were stronger, his oxygen saturation improving, and the lines of pain on his forehead had smoothed out with the help of the morphine steadily dripping into his veins. 

Anita cut Alec’s ruined clothes off, and covered him in blankets as Izzy fret over the bruises on Alec’s side. 

“He’s got three broken ribs, but I think most of the bruising is from the compression's, so they should be okay. Can you check his chest tube for me?”

The nurse obliged, as Izzy leant over to lift her brother’s eyelids and check his pupil reaction, sighing in relief when she didn’t see anything too troubling  
“Mild concussion, but I want a CT done anyway. Let’s clean him up before we settle him into a room.”

Anita grabbed a chart and started scribbling. “Tubes good. I can handle the rest if you like, you probably want to change.”

Izzy shook her head at the offer, though a change of clothes would be nice. The blood on her clothes was drying, making the fabric stiff. But she didn’t want to leave her brother.   
“No, thanks, I got this.”

Anita only nodded, wetting a cloth, and gently running over Alec’s chest and arms, being careful of the bandages she’d placed on his wrists where the restraints had cut into him.   
Izzy took a cotton swab and disinfected the grazes on the archer’s cheek, running a hand through his damp hair as she spoke softly to him. 

“You’re safe now, Alec. I’m going to take care of you and I promise, no one will ever hurt you again. I’m so sorry for what I had to do to you, but if you get better and wake up I’ll make it up to you somehow.” She sniffed, peering down at Alec’s lax face, his lips still pale and splattered in blood. She couldn’t hold the tears back now, they came in a flood that she couldn’t hope to stand against. She’d been so close to losing him, her big brother had slipped away under her hands and it was only by the grace of the angels that he’d been given back to her. 

Her shoulders shook, and she placed her head against Alec’s shoulder and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm sooo mean but at least he's safe now and there will be more coming


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are still absolutely amazing and I looove the comments they make me so happy! I hope you like this chapter!

Jace led Magnus to his room to clean up, offering clothes for the warlock to borrow and his bed to rest in.  
“You used a lot of magic, you should take it easy.”

Magnus gratefully accepted the clothes but shook his head at the offer of the bed. “I can’t sleep, knowing that Alec is in danger. But thank you.”

Jace was exhausted, he didn’t know how Magnus was still standing after using so much magic. He kicked his shoes off and padded to the bathroom to shed his clothes, throwing the blood-stained garments into the corner.  
“Alec wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your own needs just because you’re worried about him.”

Magnus let out a humourless laugh as he changed into the soft sweats Jace had given him. The warm fabric made him feel a little better, and he sighed as he followed the shadowhunter into the bathroom to clean his hands of the blood still coating them.  
“That’s low of you Jace, guilt tripping me, like that.”

Jace pulled a new shirt on and shrugged.   
“Sorry.”

The air was so filled with stress and grief, that Jace found it a little hard to breathe, but he supposed that was just him worrying about his brother. He placed a hand over his parabatai rune and recited a prayer to the angels, one asking them to protect his brother and bring him safely home. He’d learnt it as a child, from one of the many books in the institutes library, and he was grateful for it now. 

He went back out to his bedroom and sat on the bed until Magnus came to join him.   
“Has Alec ever told you what the parabatai bond feels like?” 

The warlock came and sat with the boy, watching his face carefully as he nodded.   
“A little. He said you are bonded in a way no other beings could be, that it’s like you are a part of him and he can’t live without you.”

Jace was playing with his fingers, eyes far away as his voice grew thick with guilt.  
“We share emotions you know? Mostly just the strong ones, like how happy Alec is when he’s with you, and I could feel that something was wrong this morning. I felt him when he was with you, how sad he suddenly got, and I brushed it off.”

Magnus closed his eyes. How stupid was the fight they’d had? Over something that had seemed so important, but was really only a conversation away from being resolved. How he wished he could take it back.

“We fought. I was mad at him for something he said, for taking the Clave’s side over mine. Looking back on it, I should have just been honest with him about how I was feeling.”  
Jace looked up at him, and sniffed at his tears. “I could feel it when he got attacked; he was scared and in pain and I thought it was strange but I just ignored it. I figured you two were arguing. If I had just done something about it he wouldn’t be-“

Magnus cut him off, unwilling to let the boy go down that road, as Jace sucked in a shaky breath.   
“No, Jace it isn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have let him leave; I knew there was someone out there killing shadowhunters and I told Alec I didn’t want him out on his own, and then I just kicked him out. I sent him out there.”

Jace wiped the tears from his cheeks, and huffed out a laugh. “Want to go halves on the blame? There’s enough to go around, we can just share it.”

Magnus released a small chuckle. “Sure, sounds fair.”

Jace’s face softened, turning into something proud and grateful. “He really loves you, you know. And he never talked about it, but I kind of always knew that he was gay. The way we are taught, and the way we grow up, he just accepted that he’d have to always hide who he was, and he just gave up on any sort of future in which he was happy. But then he met you. You changed everything Magnus, and you not only made him happier than I think he’s ever been, but you’ve also saved his life, more than once. So, thank you. For doing what I couldn’t for my brother.”

Magnus nodded and wiped delicately at his wet eyes, not wanting to displace his eyeliner. He looked wrecked enough as it is.   
“Thank you, Jace, and you’re welcome. I really, truly, love your brother. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

The blonde sighed. “That makes two of us.”

...........................................

“Isabelle? What should I do with the table?” Anita was referring to the thing in which Alec had been tied to during his torture. Now that Alec was set up in a bed in the medical wing of the institute, IV in place and chest tube doing its work, she never wanted to see that horrid piece of metal again.

How many shadowhunters had been tortured and killed on that thing?

“Burn it.”

The nurse nodded gravely and wheeled it away, as Izzy replaced the tape holding the chest tube to her brother’s side.   
Alec was looking much better and she didn't want to keep Jace and Magnus for long so she turned to Anita. 

"Would you mind getting the others for me? I would myself but I don't want to leave Alec alone." 

The girl nodded and left, leaving the room in a quiet stillness, only parted by the beeps of the heart monitor. It was a little higher tech than that of a mundane, without the need for wires or a bulky machine, it simply displayed the Nephilim’s vitals on a holo-screen next to his bed. 

Isabelle watched the lines closely, noting how they rose as the two men entered. 

"Hey Iz." Jace wrapped Izzy in a hug, rubbing his large hands over her back in comfort. She squeezed him back before releasing him, both turning to their brother, as Jace's face wrinkled in concern. 

"How is he?" 

Izzy nodded to Magnus as he stood back, watching over everything with wide, worried eyes. 

"Stats are good and the chest tube is doing its job. I'm going to keep him sedated until it's out, I don't want to put him through anymore trauma than necessary. He’s been through too much as it is." 

Jace sat and took one of Alec's hands, thumb absentmindedly rubbing over the skin. Magnus didn’t seem to be able to touch him just yet, his own thumb rubbing anxiously over his fingers. 

"When can it come out?" Jace asked as Magnus slowly took a seat beside him. 

"If it’s still good in the morning and the X-ray is clear, maybe tomorrow?"

She sighed heavily and read over Alec's charts as she rubbed at her temples. She looked bone tired, hair a mess and make up smudged, with her clothes still covered in dark blood stains. Jace turned his concerned gaze to her. 

"You look exhausted Izzy, you should get some sleep." 

The girl shook her head and raised her chin in defiance of her own fatigue. 

"I'm okay, I have to stay up to keep an eye on him anyway. There's a high risk of infection because it's not like anything we used in that basement was clean. How are you doing Magnus?"

The warlock shook his head, looking dazed. "I'm fine." His words did nothing to convince the other two, however, because he was sagged in his seat and looking paler than he should. Izzy placed one hand at his forehead before taking his wrist with her thumb and two fingers, while peering at her watch. 

"Your heart rate says otherwise. You need to sleep. I'm going to get changed and bring you tea so you have until I get back to talk to Alec." She looked sternly at him, but her face held a certain softness that Magnus appreciated.

"Can he hear us?" Jace's voice was hopeful.

Izzy looked at the monitors and pressed a few buttons on the screen. 

"His heart rate went up when you came in, and spikes whenever one of us talks, so yes, I think he can. Keep talking to him but try not to excite him too much; he needs his rest." She bent down and swept a hand over his forehead, brushing his hair back and leaving a kiss on his brow. "I'll be back soon, Alec." 

She left, and Jace turned to his brother. "Hey buddy, you look heaps better. Magnus is here." 

Alec's heart rate went up at Jace's voice, lines wriggling across the screen, and rose even further at the mention of the Warlocks name. Jace smiled and turned to Magnus, nodding at him to speak. 

The immortal sat forward in his seat, taking Alec's hand when Jace offered it. He swept his thumb on the back of the hand, feeling so lonely when Alec’s fingers didn’t squeeze back; although he’d known they wouldn’t.

"Hello my love. We have a lot to talk about, so behave for your sister so that I can see those pretty eyes again okay? I have to rest, under doctors’ orders, but I won't be far." He hated the thought of leaving him, but he couldn't sleep where he was without getting in the way, and Alec was the priority. So, he pressed kisses to his archer’s knuckles, and laid the hand back down on the bed, just as Izzy came back in with some tea. 

He’d almost forgotten to say it. "I love you, angel." Alec’s face didn’t move, didn’t twitch, but he was alive and breathing and that was enough for Magnus for now. 

He took the tea, thanking Isabelle, as she gestured towards the door, adding. "You can sleep in Alec's room, he won't mind." 

He really didn't want to leave, but he was so exhausted and as Jace said, Alec would be furious if he knew Magnus wasn't taking care of himself. So, he retreated to his loves bedroom with his tea. 

It was hard, being in Alec's bedroom without him. Clothes were strewn over the bed and floor, books stacked on the bedside table and papers over his desk. 

The room looked so lived in, while Alec had looked so far away in that bed, unreachable and cold and lost. He heaved a shaky breath and sipped at his tea as he curled himself under Alec's blankets. The pillow’s smelt like him, like home, and Magnus wiped his eyes as they grew damp. 

Once his tea was finished, he placed his cup on the bedside table, next to Alec's much-loved copy of Othello, and lay down. He hugged Alec's pillow to him and lay a small charm over himself, to allow him to sleep without dreaming. He didn't want to think about what images would find him in his sleep without it. Magnus was surrounded in the smell of Alec, and as he drifted to sleep, he could almost imagine him there, under the blankets beside him. 

………………………

Jace watched the Warlock leave and smiled at Izzy’s, purple scrubs, and white lab coat. 

"I haven't seen you in those in ages. I forget you're actually a doctor with a medical degree and everything. Should I call you Dr Lightwood?" 

She gave a hint of a smile "Dr Isabelle is fine." She let out a yawn and Jace stood, reaching for her. She held out a hand before he could say anything. 

"I'm not going to sleep, Jace." 

He sighed at her stubbornness, but nodded and gently took her arm as he pulled out his stele, drawing a stamina rune over her skin. She felt a boost of energy flood her veins and she kissed his cheek gratefully.

"Thank you." 

The blonde sat back down and took Alec’s hand in his, brushing a finger against Alec’s cheek. 

“He isn’t so pale anymore. You did amazing with him Izzy; you saved him.”

The girl fussed over her patient, pulling the blankets up on his chest, being careful of the chest tube, and tucked him in.

“I just wish I could have done more. I’m really worried about infection, those tools in that basement were probably used on multiple people without ever being cleaned or sterilised and-“

Jace placed a hand on her arm.

“Stop, take a deep breath.”

She followed his dramatic lead, sucking in a breath, and blowing it back out, before he continued. 

“You did everything you could, and he’s going to be okay because you are the best. You’re a genius, you know what you’re doing; he’ll be okay. We all will.” 

Izzy sat down, sagging in her chair.

“Yeah he will be.” 

Because she didn't know what they would do if he wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't woken him up yet but Magnus will talk to him next chapter and give him a ling speech about lovey dovey stuff so who knows, maybe Alec will wake up then? Let me know what you think or if you have ideas I love ur input


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! It all got stuck in my head and I couldn't write it the way I wanted but I have an idea for the next chapter so I hopefully should be able to update soon. 
> 
> Special thanks to my wonderful friend discarded-arc-reactor on tumblr for your help as always you're fantastic and also thank you to all the amazing reviews they make me so happy!

"... and I just want you to wake up. I really miss you." 

Jace sounded so sad, and his hand in Alec's was firm, like a reassurance. Alec was glad he was there, and he didn't know why but without him, he felt scared. 

His parabatai’s voice came again, tired, and regretful. 

"Looks like my turns over, but I'm sure you've been waiting for Magnus this whole time, anyway. I'll come back later." Then quieter, as if he'd moved away. 

"Tell me if he wakes up." 

The hand disappeared and Alec wanted it back, but he couldn't move to grasp it. He couldn't move at all. His mind suddenly took him back to that basement, that horrible place where he'd been strapped down and tortured. And this time he couldn't even scream. 

The fear was a tsunami, washing over him and crushing him completely beneath the waves. His heart beat so hard in his chest that it hurt and he felt as if it would burst. 

He would have succumbed to the darkness and fear completely if it weren't for that voice, smooth and soft like dark silk. He knew that voice, and knew that touch; the light fingers stroking his cheeks, and the lips on his knuckles. And all at once, he was somewhere else, somewhere safe with the man he loved. 

Magnus.

.......

Jace squeezed his brothers hand and sighed, wishing he could just get an answer back. He already missed Alec so much, he wasn't used to being apart from his Parabatai and he didn't like it. 

It made him feel lonely, even with other people in the room.

Magnus came in then, looking better than he had the night before. He was still wearing the sweats Jace lent him, and his face held no trace of makeup. It was a shock at first, seeing the warlock so unraveled, his hair without its usual color or style. He looked softer than Jace had ever seen him, with his cat’s eyes un-glamoured, glowing green in the low light. 

Jace couldn't help staring until Magnus blinked, embarrassed, and covered his warlock mark with the familiar warm brown irises instead. 

Izzy looked up from where she was adjusting something on her brother’s side. 

"Feeling better?" 

The warlock nodded, moving to Alec's side and brushing a hand through the archer’s hair. 

"Much, thank you. How's our Alexander doing?" 

The doctor settled the blankets back down and gently took the oxygen mask off her brother’s face, replacing it with a nasal cannula, before tapping at her screens to adjust the airflow. 

"X-rays were clear so I took the chest tube out. It went well, and he's breathing a lot easier now so, I've reduced his sedation. He should wake up today." 

Jace squeezed Alec's hand again, saying his goodbyes before handing him over to Magnus, asking that he be called if his brother showed any signs of waking. But as soon as he let go of that limp hand, the monitors began to squeal unhappily, as Alec's heart rate skyrocketed. 

All eyes went to the screen, not knowing what was happening. 

Alec's hands began to curl into fists, as his brow furrowed and his breathing began to turn into pants and whimpers. 

Although they had all been waiting days for any movement from the archer, this was not what they wanted to see. 

Jace watched his big brother, worried, and let out a small "Alec?"

Izzy looked over the monitors, assessing the lines and numbers on the screens. 

"I think he's having a nightmare. His hearts beating too fast."

Magnus quickly took the seat next to the bed, that Jace had been occupying just moments before, and took his boyfriends hand as he trailed his fingers across those pale cheeks. 

"Shhh, love it's all right. I'm here Alexander. Everything's okay, you're safe." His voice was soft and quiet, as he laced magic into his words, turning the dark images in Alec's head into something safe. 

He conjured an image of their bed, at Magnus' apartment, the sun dripping through the windows to warm their skin as they lay together, in each other’s arms. 

The cold table melted into a soft bed and warm skin, fingers trailing over a chest as green cat’s eyes and a lover’s smile hovered above him. 

He was in Magnus' arms and he was safe. 

Alec let out a sigh as his tense body relaxed, fingers gently squeezing back where the downworlder held them. 

The monitors went back to their calm, rhythmic beats and Magnus smiled. 

"That's it, just breathe. You're safe now." 

The warlock pressed his lips to the back of Alec's hand before holding it to his chest. 

Isabelle tucked the nasal cannula back behind Alec's ears where it had been disturbed in his panicked movements. She kept her voice light and quiet.

"Alec? Can you open your eyes?" 

Brows slowly furrowed in concentration, as lips parted to release a huff of air. He was trying to find his way to the surface without knowing where he was, the drugs in his system making everything heavier than it should have been. 

Finally, lead weighted eyes blinked open, those beautiful hazel irises foggy with confusion and drugs. 

"M'gnus." The word was mumbled, a slur evident even in its short syllables, but it made everyone sigh in relief all the same. 

"Hello Alexander." That beautiful smile and warm eyes were the first thing he saw, and his face formed a similar shape in response. A lazy, happy smile, but it lasted only a few seconds before his eyes were drawn to the IV in the back of his hand. 

The pain in his chest became more evident, as he came back to himself. He didn’t know where he was, and the last thing he remembered was almost dying at the hands of a seelie woman, and before that…  
Alec looked up at Magnus, as his heart rate began to climb once again. Isabelle watched the screens worryingly as her brother began to hyperventilate, his hands desperately gripping Magnus’ arms. 

“Magnus! We had a fight! I’m, so sorry!” 

The warlock attempted to placate his boyfriend, but he was too panicked, and confused to listen.

“Alec, it’s okay-“

“No, I didn’t listen to you, and you were mad at me. I’m so sorry for what I said.” His huge eyes were filling with tears, and his too-fast breaths, were turning into hiccups and sobs.

His breathing was becoming strained and Isabelle watched the lines on the monitor jump. She placed a hand on his chest and spoke quietly to him. 

“Alec, I need you to keep your heart rate down. Take some deep breaths, in through your nose and out your mouth. There we go, everything’s okay; no one’s mad at you.” 

The archer felt awful, his chest was tight and sore and he still wasn’t quite sure what was happening. His sister sat on the edge of his bed, and smiled at him reassuringly. 

“You’re okay Alec, I promise. The seelie’s dead, she won’t be hurting anyone anymore.”

Alec believed her, but he still couldn’t get the panic to subside completely. He didn’t like the needle in his hand, or the dripping of the IV; it reminded him too much of the sting of the blade that had sliced him open, and the way he’d been drugged when first taken. 

He was still holding Magnus’ hand and tried to pull him closer. 

“I want to go home.”

Magnus tilted his head, offering an apologetic look, as he brushed a hand over the Lightwoods cheek. 

“Oh love, you are home. You’re at the institute.”

The shadowhunter shook his head and tried to pull Mangus closer, breath hitching as if he were about to cry. 

“No, I want to go home with you. I want to stay in our bed.”

Magnus gently slipped his hand behind Alec’s neck and pulled him in for a hug, the archer immediately tucking his face into the warlock’s neck, and holding on tight. He shuddered in Magnus’ hold, shaking like a leaf. 

“It’s all right darling, I won’t leave you. You’re safe here. You just have to stay for a little while longer, till you’re all healed and then we can go home.” Magnus raised his eyes to Isabelle, face creased in concern. 

“He’s shaking, and he feels a little warm.”

The doctor came closer as Jace moved towards the bed, worried.   
She placed her hand on Alec’s forehead and felt the heat there, scrunching her nose as she concentrated. 

“Hmm, might be the start of an infection. I’ll give him some more antibiotics but it should pass. Jace, let’s leave them alone for a little while. Alec needs his rest, and we do too.”

Jace patted Alec’s shoulder before leaving with his sister. Although they didn’t want to leave their brother, they knew Magnus would want to talk to him. 

The warlock gently laid Alec back down and held his hand, those hazel eyes watching him closely. 

“Feeling a little better now?”

Alec nodded, but still looked a little upset; he turned his wide eyes to Magnus’ brown ones.

“You really aren’t mad at me for our fight? I said some dumb things.”

The downworlder shook his head, he’d been thinking about it for a while.

“No, I was mad then, but that’s over. It seems so long ago too, I don’t even really remember why I kicked you out instead of just talking about it. When you left, I felt bad and almost instantly wanted to call you to come back, but after everything with Valentine and the body swap I’ve been having a rough time. And I was pushing you away. And then, Izzy called me and said you’d been taken, and I found your bow and blood on the ground, and all I could think was that the last time we spoke was for a fight. 

“I was so, so worried, and then we found you, but you were screaming and that knife came down.”  
He sucked in a breath, eyes blurring with tears. 

“I thought I was going to lose you, Alec. We’ve barely had any time together, I can’t lose you so quickly. So, you rest and get better so that we can make the most of whatever time we have. And let’s promise that we won’t ever leave each other angry. I can’t bare for this to happen again.”

Alec agreed, thumbing away Magnus’ tears with a clumsy hand.

“I promise. I love you, Magnus and I really am sorry for what I said. Thanks for saving me.”

The warlock held Alec’s hand to his cheek before, taking it and pressing kisses to his palm, trailing his lips down to his wrist. His voice came out wobbly and thick. 

“I love you so much, Alexander. Never leave me again all right?”

Alec smiled, nodding. “Never, ever. I love you too.” 

He was so tired, his words began to slur once more, and he blinked his tired eyes. 

“Maggie? Where did your beautiful green eyes go? You know I love your brown ones, but you don’t have to hide your cat eyes from me, I love them.”

Magnus blinked, stripping away his glamour to show his sleepy angel his bright eyes. Alec smiled dopily and trailed a finger across his boyfriend’s cheek as he began to drift off.   
“Hmm, my handsome man. Pretty, kitty eyes.” 

Magnus laughed a little at Alec’s nonsense rambling, and tucked him in, kissing his forehead as his eyes fell shut. 

“Goodnight, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alec is finally awake! Now he can focus on healing and all the kisses that he missed out on. Please let me know what you think of this one and if you have ideas for the next chapter totally let me know i love hearing from you!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy sorry this has taken so long my sisters puppy benji likes to walk across my laptop and sit on it like a cat so he ended up deleting stuff lol i got it all back tho I really hope you like this and im planning on writing more so hopefully ill get it done soon

Alec looked down at the large scar over his chest. It was huge and pink, healed by Magnus' capable hands but it would never go away and he knew it. He was lucky it hadn't gone through any of his runes, although his other wound had. 

He glanced down at the bandages still covering the knife wound around his iratz rune. Izzy had stitched it and Magnus had used some spell to ease the pain but the scar would forever stay and the rune could never be used again. 

He wasn't exactly sure why, but the knife the seelie had used, and the way she'd cut him, made the rune useless. Now that his permanent iratz rune had been destroyed, he couldn't create another that would stay for more than a few hours. 

Izzy was trying to figure out what she'd done to cause such a strange reaction, but for now everyone had agreed that Alec could not get hurt again, and that, he'd have to heal the slow, mundane way. 

Alec pulled his shirt down on his chest carefully, trying not to jostle his broken ribs too much. He was still badly bruised from Izzy’s CPR, as well as his brief fight with the seelie before he was drugged. 

But he was feeling much better than he had before, and Izzy deemed him healthy enough to leave the medical wing, so he was going straight home to Magnus' apartment. 

The warlock came in then, holding a glass of thick green sludge and a handful of pills, with a black hoodie wedged under his arm. 

"Here, drink this and take these." 

Alec grimaced at the concoction in the glass as he took the small handful of pills. 

"What is that? Is that alive?" 

Magnus made a face and pressed the drink into his boyfriend’s hand. "Of course not, I killed it first. Would you just drink it, please? It's to promote healing and calm the mind. And those pills are from Izzy, they're antibiotics." 

Alec groaned in annoyance but did as he was told, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes as Magnus pressed a hand to his forehead. 

"I don't have a fever, Mags." 

"Calm down, I'm just making sure. Put this on and then we'll get going." 

Alec took the hoodie offered to him and accepted Magnus' help putting it on. He was still weak and healing, but that didn't mean he couldn't do anything himself. 

He went to get off the bed, only to have Magnus stop him with a hand to the chest. 

"Are you sure you're ready? Maybe you should just for a little longer." 

Alec groaned, throwing his head back. "Magnus! I'm fine! We're just going home so I can go back to bed, it's not like I'm going on a hunt or anything." 

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "That's right, you aren't going on a hunt and you won't be for a long time. You're going to stay with me forever and never go back to those dangerous missions." 

Alec was about to protest when the warlock placed his hands-on Alec's cheeks, being careful of the graze still healing over his jaw. 

"You can't so no to me Alexander, you love me too much." 

Alec laughed as Magnus used his kitten look, that 'up through the eyelashes' with a little pout, look that Alec could never resist. 

"No, Maggie that's cheating!" 

Magnus batted his eyelashes, his beautiful eyes so wide that Alec couldn't look away. He groaned, giving in. 

"You aren't allowed to be that cute, it's just not fair." 

Magnus laughed and pressed kisses over every inch of skin he could reach. Over cheeks and forehead, jaw lines and finally that smiling mouth. Alec tasted happy and Magnus felt better than he had on a long time as Alec laughed between the many kisses pressed to his lips. 

He finally released Alec's face, only to wrap his arms around his neck and pull him in for a hug. He really did want Alec to stay with him forever. But he knew it was unreasonable to ask that of his boyfriend. 

Alec pulled him onto his lap so that Magnus could be held against his chest, his runed arms wrapping around the man in comfort. Magnus' voice was sullen. 

"I know you have to go back to work eventually but I wish you wouldn't. I don't think I can see you like that again, half dead and cold. Promise me you'll be careful?" 

Alec pressed a kiss to the warlock’s temple. "I promise. I'll do everything I can to come home to you, every time." 

Magnus sighed wistfully as the door swung open, revealing Jace standing there with a smile. 

"Hey, you two love birds; all ready to go home huh? To be honest I don't think you should go just yet." 

Alec groaned as Magnus stood from his lap. 

"Really? You too Jace?" 

The blonde spread his hands in front of him in exasperation. "You had a knife sticking out of your chest, Alec! And I felt the whole thing, I think that gives me permission to be protective over you for the rest of our lives!" 

Alec laughed as Jace lent forward and zipped up his brother’s hoodie for him, despite the fact that he could do it himself. 

"You can't baby me, I'm older than you!" 

Jace shrugged, completely unconcerned. 

"Yeah but we're parabatai, that basically makes us twins." 

Alec let out another laugh as Magnus took his arm around his shoulders, slipping a careful arm around the Nephilim’s back to help him stand. 

"That's not how twins work." 

Jace watched as the warlock helped Alec get to his feet, hands outstretched and ready to help should it be needed. 

Alec had to admit that he was still feeling weak, knees wobbling a bit, and that he didn't mind the help this time. He'd been lying in bed, high on pain meds, for the past three days and he wasn't used to moving around again just yet. 

He'd made it a few steps when the door swung open once more, as Izzy swept into the room with pill bottles in hand, and a pack of extra dressings for his side. She stuffed them into Alec's bag, amongst the clothes and books already there to take to Magnus'. 

She addressed the warlock as she spoke. 

"Make sure his stitches stay dry and that you change the dressing regularly, it needs to stay clean and keep an eye out for any signs of infection. He has to take all his meds and please make sure he doesn't over exert himself. And I know it hurts but he needs to keep doing those breathing exercises I showed him." 

She finally turned to her brother and saw his sour expression. "Why are you frowning? Are you in pain? Maybe you should stay here." 

Alec wasn't having that conversation again. "Izzy! I'm fine and I'm going home! I don't need to be coddled." 

The doctor placed her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes at him, giving her angry look that always put the fear of god into anyone she pointed it at. 

"Do you know what it took to keep you alive? Do you know what it's like putting in a chest tube! I know you felt it all but do you know how hard it was fixing your collapsed lung in the field without any proper equipment!" 

Alec grunted in annoyance and took his arm from Magnus' shoulders to pull his brother and sister into a hug. As Magnus took his waist instead, to keep him standing. 

"By the angel, you two need to stop worrying. I'm going to be fine, I am fine. Thank you for saving me, now let me go home before you smother me to death." 

Jace grunted but hugged his brother back. 

"Poor choice of words there, buddy." 

Izzy squeezed her brother as gently as she could. "It was really scary, and you're my big brother, I don't want to lose you." 

Jace squeezed a little tighter, as if agreeing with the sentiment, and Alec softened his voice, placing kisses on both their heads.   
“You aren’t going to lose me. I really feel okay, and you guys can come visit if you want. I’m only at Magnus’, it isn’t that far.” 

Jace sighed and let go, Izzy pulling Alec down to kiss his cheek.   
“Fine, just let us know if you need anything.” 

Alec agreed and wrapped is arm back around Magnus’ shoulder, once more. The warlock snapped his fingers and waved his hand, opening a portal to take them home. 

Jace and Izzy looked on with forlorn expressions as they watched their brother leave, Jace tossing his bag in after them. 

Alec sighed, content, as they were released from the portal into the apartment he thought of as a second home. It was warm and bright, smelling like the flowers Magnus liked to bring back from Japan. 

Magnus walked them to their room, eager to get Alec into bed for some rest, but the Shadowhunter had other ideas.   
“Do you want to dance?”

Magnus looked up, confused, only to see Alec’s genuinely hopeful expression.   
“You should be in bed.”

Alec had a soft smile on, one so adorable that it almost made the warlock completely ignore the graze on that pale skin and the way the Nephilim could barely walk by himself.  
“We haven’t gotten to go on any dates in a while, and I’ve missed our alone time. Please, you’ve been so worried about me and I just want to hold you.”

Magnus couldn’t resist that look, or Alec’s hand that was gracefully taking his to hold to his chest as he hummed, in lieu of music.   
“You make me so weak, Alexander. I used to dine with princes and tyrants, and fight in the greatest wars.”

Alec smiled as Magnus adjusted his hold on his boyfriend so they were more in a dancers pose, swaying lightly.  
“I believe you; you used to be scary and now you’re my soft kitten that likes to cuddle.”

Magnus clicked his fingers, enveloping the room in the soft light of candles as music began to play. He laughed at the Lightwoods words as Alec pressed their faces close together as they danced. 

“You’re the one that blushes every time I call you a new pet name, Mr-I-hunt-demons.”

Another laugh, light and carefree. “Is that one of them? Because that’s terrible.”

Magnus smiled, enjoying their flirting after the past few days of nothing but worry. His nose brushed lightly against Alec’s as he brought his lips closer, the music rising around them.   
“Of course not, Honey bear. But in all seriousness, I’m so glad you’re finally home. I hate sleeping without you.”

“Me too.”

Alec closed the distance between their mouths, closing his eyes as he kissed his warlock. It had been days since they’d shared a proper kiss, and he savored the moment, hands still clasped together between them. 

When they finally broke apart, Alec kept his eyes closed, feet stumbling a little. Magnus caught him, practically holding him up with an arm to the waist.   
“Are you all right?”

Alec blinked and laughed a little, fatigue hitting him like a brick.   
“You make me weak in the knees.”

Magnus laughed at the joke but wrapped his arm around the shadowhunters waist to lead him to their room.   
“I think it’s time we get you to bed.” 

Alec couldn’t agree more, he was beyond exhausted and his ribs were aching more than he’d like to admit. But their bed was soft and inviting, sinking beneath him as Magnus slid him under the covers. The warlock crawled in after him, wrapping his arms around his love under the covers. 

The two were finally home, together, and safe, and Magnus was so happy to have his Alexander back in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the adorable kitten look that magnus gives is actually something he does to alec in the sneak peek shadowhunters realeased for next weeks episode and its so freaking cute i cant stand it and i dont know how alec doesnt melt when he sees it


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments they keep me alive in these cold winter months. and please tell me what you think of this one?

The giant cat stretched its wings and yawned as Magnus watched and- something was kicking him. A thump, and a shout smacked against him and he sprang up from bed, wide awake. What a shame; he’d liked that dream. 

Another thump came, and Magnus clicked his fingers, turning the lights on as his heart raced, so he could figure out what had woken him. 

Alec was tossing and turning in the bed beside him, sweat soaked hair sticking to his forehead as he struggled against the sheets. He was crying out as his arms tried to free themselves from the tangle of blankets, and he sounded just as terrified as he’d been when they’d found him in that basement. 

“No, please don’t hurt me. Izzy, make it stop! Jace, help me, please! Magnus!”'

He cried out in pain as he rolled on to his broken ribs and injured side, and Magnus quickly tore the sheets from him. He freed the boy’s struggling limbs and scooped him into his arms to cradle to his chest. 

The Nephilim’s eyes were scrunched shut as he whimpered, terrified, his hands clawing at Magnus as if searching for help. 

“Alec, wake up!” Magnus called out to him, voice loud in the quiet room. 

Alec jerked awake with a scream, hands scrabbling and glassy eyes searching for the source of the sound. The warlock held him close and wiped the tears from his cheeks, keeping his voice quiet and soft. 

“Shhh, love, it’s all right. I’m here, you’re safe now.”

Alec blinked up at him, trying to get his bearings. His cheeks were pink and his eyes wouldn’t focus completely. He seemed to recognize who was with him, but not where he was, and he whimpered as he curled himself to his boyfriend, clinging on so tight that Magnus should feel him shaking. 

“Magnus. Help me.”

“You’re okay.” The downworlder stroked Alec’s hair back, trying to calm him, but frowned as he felt the heat in his skin. He brought his hand back to that too-hot forehead, and cursed. 

“Oh, darling you’re burning up!”

Alec didn’t want to move but Magnus couldn’t let him cook in his own skin, so he grabbed his phone and pulled Alec from the bed. Isabelle’s number was dialed and he slid the phone across the floor, to the bathroom, so that he could use both hands for Alec. The phone was on speaker, and he could hear the girl pick up as he tried to help Alec stand.

“Magnus? Is something wrong? It’s three in the morning.”

Alec was so scared, whole body trembling as he was lifted from the mattress and onto his feet.   
“Alec had a nightmare but he isn’t really coming out of it, even now that he’s awake, and Isabelle, he’s far too warm. Shh, my love you’re okay, just hold on to me.” His last words were directed at his boyfriend as he shook in the warlock’s arms. 

A soft curse came from Izzy’s end of the line, shuffling and footsteps coming through the phone. “Dammit, okay I’m coming over. Try to cool him down and keep him calm, I’ll be there soon.”

Alec was still so weak that Magnus had to practically carry him to the bathroom but he resisted the whole way, not wanting to move. The warlock dragged his boyfriend over to the shower and sat him beside it, apologizing profusely as he turned on the shower. 

“I’m sorry, love, but you have to cool down. Just keep listening to my voice, you’ll be all right.” He felt terrible for leaving the man, even for a second, watching him while testing the water to make sure it wasn’t too cold. 

Alec was panting, eyes glassy as he begged for help, body sagged against the wall he was leaning on. “Magnus, the seelie girl is going to hurt Jace. She’s going to hurt my brother you have to stop her, please.”

The warlock, satisfied with the luke-warm water, came back to kneel in front of Alec. He stroked those tear stained cheeks, flushed with fever.   
“She isn’t going to hurt anyone, she’s gone, everyone is safe. Here, grab onto me.”

Alec did as he was told and held on as Magnus lifted him into the shower, but he didn’t know why he was being put in there, or why he’d be going into a shower fully clothed. He didn’t start panicking until his mind started screaming, telling him that the falling water from the shower was the same dripping that he’d heard in the basement where he’d been tortured. 

He suddenly bucked in Magnus’ hold and scrabbled back, trying to escape the bathroom. But he was so weak, and unwell that he didn’t get far before Magnus had pulled him to his chest and wrapped him in a hug. He had one arm wrapped around the Nephilim’s back while the other hand was stroking the back of his head, his voice worried and soft as he whispered to him. 

“Alexander, you’re okay. What’s wrong? Why are you so scared?”

Alec was still trying to get away from the shower, and refused to even look at it.   
“I can’t- It’s the noise. She’s going to come back and she said she’d hurt Jace. I can’t let her hurt him.”

Magnus didn’t want to subject Alec to any further nightmare fuel but he needed to cool him down, and the luke-warm shower was the best way to do it. He gathered as much of Alec as he could, into his arms and moved to the shower.  
“She’d dead, my love. She isn’t going to hurt anyone ever again. Jace is safe, now let me take care of you.”

Alec whimpered, hands fisting into the shirt on the warlocks back.   
“Magnus.”

The warlock held firm, pulling him into the water, holding tight when Alec struggled in his arms.   
“I’m right here, and as long as you hold on to me, everything will be okay. I promise, I’ll protect you, and Jace will be fine. Just hold on tight and don’t let go.”

Alec was confused and scared and in pain but if Magnus said it would be okay, he believed him. He held on as tight as his shaking limbs would allow, sobbing into the warlock’s neck as he tried to hide from the spray of water and block out any sound that he could. Magnus held him tight on the floor of the shower, wrapped around Alec and rocking him to try and keep him calm. 

“Shh, I’ve got you. You’re all right, Alexander. You’re safe, it’s all over now.”

Isabelle arrived fifteen minutes later, dressed in a set of silk pyjamas, with a worried Jace in tow. Magnus felt them approach his wards and opened the door for them from his position in the shower, and held Alec closer when they came in. 

The Nephilim was significantly calmer by the time they arrived, his hold on Magnus was less frantic, and he’d stopped crying. He lay in his boyfriend’s arms as he was rocked, and peeked out of his hiding spot as Isabelle knelt and reached towards them. 

She lay a hand over his forehead before moving it to stroke his red cheeks; she was frowning as she tilted her head. Alec blinked up at her as Jace lent in and turned off the shower. 

“Sorry.” His voice was raspy from the screaming he’d done, and now that his head was clearer he felt stupid for such a meltdown.

Izzy shook her head. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Alec. How are you feeling?”

He shrugged and curled back to Magnus, so that he could rest his head on the warlocks shoulder.  
“Tired. I don’t feel very good.” 

She nodded and stroked his wet hair back, a gesture that made him feel just a little bit better.   
“Let’s get you dry and into bed then. Jace, can you help him out? I’ll go get some supplies to replace that wet bandage, and something to bring that fever down.”

Jace grabbed some towels as she left, helping Magnus lift Alec from the floor of the shower and onto his and Magnus’ bed. He seemed clearer, his eyes focussing properly, and his hands had stopped shaking. Magnus gave him a kiss on the cheek before leaving him with Jace, so that he could get on something dry. 

Jace knew that Alec would be embarrassed to need help, so he tried not to make a big deal out of it as he rubbed a towel over his Parabatai, keeping his voice light.   
“You’re dream kind of bumped into mine, when I was sleeping, I could feel and kind of see what you were dreaming about. I’m glad I woke up when I did cause Izzy wasn’t even going to tell me something was wrong.”

Alec kept his head low. “I’m sorry, I didn’t to wake you guys.”

Jace sighed, as he lifted the sopping wet shirt from Alec’s body, peeling the material from him, before throwing it in the bathroom and wrapping the towel around his parabatai’s shoulders. He rubbed his hands up and down Alec’s arms and back as he spoke, drying him off as best he could.   
“We don’t mind helping you, Alec. That’s what happens when people love you, they take care of you. We all just want you to get better.”

Alec nodded but didn’t look convinced. Jace kept his hands busy as he spoke, pulling Alec’s wet clothes off to replace them with warm, dry ones. 

“Do you remember when I first came to the institute? Our rooms were right next to each other, and you could hear me have a bad dream almost every night. You didn’t even really know me that well, but you’d come to my room with some stupid excuse, like you couldn’t sleep so I had to help you practice your runes. You stayed up with me until morning, or until I fell asleep again. Sometimes we’d read or talk, but you never mentioned the nightmares, or complained that I was keeping you from your sleep. 

“I felt really stupid for being so scared of a dream, and I didn’t want to talk about them because I didn’t want you to think I was weak. But one night, after a really bad one, I woke up crying and you were already there, sitting next to my bed. And you told me that everything would be okay, because you were there. You said you’d never let anything happen to me.

“I wasn’t used to other people, and Valentine wasn’t the most caring parent… you were the first person that ever made me feel safe. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that, but it really meant a lot to me. And, I know you want this to all go back to normal right away, but it’s going to take time. It’ll get better, big brother, just let us help.”

Jace had just finished pulling Alec’s shirt on, and looked up as he straightened the garment. Alec’s eyes were watery, and his smile was faint but he looked grateful for the story, his voice rumbling with emotion. 

“Thanks, Jace.”

The blonde nodded and pulled the older boy into a hug, being careful of his chest, but Alec squeezed back tightly.   
“Love you brother.” 

“I love you too, Jace.”

Izzy came in then, as Jace released his hold and replaced the towel with a blanket around Alec’s shoulders. Izzy carefully dried and covered Alec’s stitches with a new bandage before handing him a few pills to take with the cup of tea Magnus came back with.

The warlock was dressed in a new set of pyjamas, his damp hair laying in soft disarray across his forehead. Alec felt a little better just at the sight of him, though the downworlder frowned as he spoke to Izzy.

“Sorry I got his stitches wet, but I couldn’t think of another way to get his fever down.”

The doctor shook her head as she snapped off her gloves. “It’s all right, they look okay for now. The fever might be the start of an infection but I’d like to think it was just a reaction to the nightmare. Reliving that trauma may have told the body that it was in danger and too cold so it reacted accordingly. It’s going down now, anyway. Feeling better, Alec?”

The Nephilim nodded as he sipped his tea, before setting it on his bedside table and laying back under the blankets. He felt better now that he was in dry clothes, but his ribs were protesting all the excitement of the night, and he couldn’t hold back a grimace as they shifted uncomfortably. 

Magnus’ hands quickly come to his aid, lifting his shirt to hover over his array of colorful bruises, sending warm healing magic into his bones to take the pain away and ease the tension in his chest. Those graceful fingers paused over the long scar, and a shadow passed over Magnus’ face, like a wash of grief, before he blinked and tucked his shadowhunter back in.

“There, all better.”

Alec wanted to apologize again, feeling guilty for every worried face in the room, but he remembered Jace’s words and offered them a smile instead as Magnus crawled into bed behind him.   
“Thanks for taking care of me, it means a lot.”

Magnus wrapped a gentle arm around his boyfriend and snuggled close. “My pleasure, angel. And you two are welcome to stay the rest of the night.”

Izzy placed a kiss on both her brothers and the warlock’s forehead, and bid them goodnight, Jace smiling at the two before following her. 

Magnus sat up in the bed a little, leaning over Alec and stroking his hair. “Are you really okay?”

Alec smiled and pulled his handsome man down for a kiss. “Everything’s okay as long as I hold on to you, right?”

Magnus smiled and kissed him back, sinking back into the bed to smuggle with Alec as he replied in a soft, happy tone.   
“Absolutely.” 

Alec took the other man’s hand where it lay on his tummy and squeezed it tight. “Good, then just don’t let go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always think "Did i put in too many kisses and snuggles? nahh you can never have to many!" So i hope this didnt suck lol


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the last chapter!!! I hope you like it!

“Magnus, I’m fine; it’s been three weeks.”

The warlock wouldn’t let go of his boyfriend, arms tightly wrapped around his middle, as Alec tried to walk to the door.  
“I don’t want you to go! What if you get hurt again?”

Alec peeled Magnus off him and took his pouting face in his hands. Those eyes were so sad but the shadowhunter had been at home for so long he thought he’d start going mad if he were kept in bed any longer.   
“I’ll be fine, I promise to be careful. Come here, give me a kiss.”

Magnus obliged, kissing Alec more passionately than a morning goodbye might usually require. It had been a rough couple of weeks, with Alec having more nightmares, and needing sleep spells in the first week. Magnus didn’t have the nicest dreams either, but Alec’s wounds were healed and he hadn’t had any bad dreams in four days, and so the angel insisted he was fit for duty once more. 

Alec broke off the kiss and walked to the door, not noticing the way his boyfriend’s hands were glowing.   
“I’ll see you for dinner, love you.”

Magnus laid the protective charm over Alec before he turned around, and hid his hands behind his back as he smiled and said goodbye.   
“Love you, too!”

Alec had been coddled and kept in bed for three weeks, making him more than eager to get back to work. He walked into the institute and breathed in the sweet scent of freedom and leather, smiling, and shaking the hands of a few people that welcomed him back. 

He was headed to the main room in search of his siblings, when someone bumped into him. They weren’t watching where they were going, and it wouldn’t have been a big deal if a bubble of magic hadn’t exploded around Alec. 

The protective barrier enveloped the Lightwood in magic and prevented anyone from coming close. The force of the spell so great that the man that had bumped into Alec had been sent soaring across the room.   
Heads turned to watch the poor, unsuspecting victim, crash into a holo-table. 

“By the angel, are you okay?” Alec felt terrible, but the man got up and brushed himself off, merely making a comment about being the first half-angel to fly.   
Alec waved at him in apology and took out his phone. 

“Hello, my love. Do you miss me already? You haven’t even been gone an hour.” Magnus’ voice was bright and cheerful, making Alec close his eyes and breathe in an attempt to be patient. He wasn’t really mad; especially since he should have known something like this would happen. 

“Magnus, darling, did you put a protective charm on me?”

There was a guilty pause, and then a small laugh as Magnus tried to sound innocent.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why? Did you get into trouble already?”

Alec sighed, and leant a hand on the solid, protective bubble around him. “You don’t have to worry about me, I can take care of myself. Someone just got thrown across the room for bumping into me. You’re lucky he was okay or I’d have a lot of explaining to do.”

Magnus began mumbling, talking under his breath like a reprimanded, four hundred year old, child. “Well, he must have hit you pretty hard for the charm to be activated.”

“Magnus!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll take it down. I’m sorry. Call me at lunch so I know you’re still alive, please?” The bubble dissipated and a photo of Magnus blowing a kiss appeared in Alec’s hand, with a note in the warlocks handwriting. 

“Please, don’t be mad, I love you!!! XOXO”

Alec smiled at the note and shook his head as he laughed. “Okay, I’ll talk to you then. I love you, now leave me alone and have a good day.”

Alec hadn’t been in his office in weeks, and he’d missed the quiet, organised, space. He found a frame for Magnus’ photo and set it on his desk before Jace and Izzy walked in. 

“Hey guys.”

“Hey, quite the performance out there.”   
Jace took a seat in front of his brother’s desk, lounging in the chair as Izzy came and sat on the edge of the table. 

Alec ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, Magnus is a little overprotective at the moment, He didn’t even want me to go back to work.”

Izzy crossed her legs daintily, as if she weren’t sitting on top of her brothers work space. “Well, that’s understandable, given what happened. Jace wanted me to ban you from work a little longer, but you’re fully healed, so there really isn’t any reason to keep you from working.”

Jace lightly kicked at her boot with his as he frowned and whispered to her grumpily. “Tattle tale.” 

Alec smiled and activated a holo-screen, tapping away at it before spinning it to face his siblings. 

“Good, because we have a mission.”

Jace’s mouth fell open, as he read the mission statement.

“A forsaken! You want to take on a forsaken after almost dying? Absolutely not!”

Alec laughed. “Forsaken’s aren’t that bad, and there’s three of us.”

Jace stood, getting upset, as he waved his hands around. “The last time you took on one of those, it hit you with a mace! Your arm was torn to shreds!”

Izzy was still reading the screen carefully, as Alec rolled his eyes and tried to reason with his Parabatai.

“That one had been experimented on by Valentine, this one is just a mundane that messed with something they shouldn’t have. Besides, Izzy is the Doctor and she said I’m fine.”

Isabelle hummed in disagreement, flicking through files on the screen. “Well, to be clear, I said you were okay to go back to work, I didn’t say anything about active duty. Your iratze rune doesn’t work anymore, I don’t think you should be racing into battle before we know how to fix it.”

Jace smiled and crossed his arms in triumph. “Ha ha, Izzy said you can’t come.” 

Alec made a face at brother’s childishness, and stood, squaring his shoulders as he walked out of the room. “Too bad, we’re all going.”

Jace and Izzy followed, as he led them to the armory and began strapping on his thigh holster.

“Alec, did you not hear what Izzy just said?” 

The older boy was getting very tired of not being trusted or listened to. He just wanted to go back to how things were, he wanted to go back to being the protective older brother, because that was his job. Ever since Izzy had been born, Alec had been trusted to take care of her, and then of Jace and Max too. And he liked it that way. 

Although his parents had often put too much responsibility on his shoulders, he’d grown to carry that weight and he liked being able to take care of those he loved. That was his job and he loved it. But now they wouldn’t let him.

Alec turned to his younger brother, with a glare, tone impatient. “Jace, I am your boss, and I gave you an order. We are going on this mission, and we will all be fine because forsaken’s are easy.” 

Jace was breathing hard, chest heaving as he tried to contain his anger. His eyes were hard and his lips pressed into a hard line as Izzy carefully placed her hand on his shoulder to try calm the two boys. 

“Jace? I’m sure he’ll be fine, he’s –“ The blond stormed away, gathering bits of body armor from a chest across the room, and coming back to throw them at his brother. 

“I’m not going unless you wear this, Mr-I’m-in-charge. Because I’ve had enough of watching you almost die.” He stormed off, leaving the scattered pieces of leather on the floor around Alec.   
He was so mad, and didn’t look back as he muttered, loud enough for Alec to hear the bitter word he spat out.   
“Asshole.”

Alec sighed as Jace left, and looked to Izzy for help. “You think I can do this, right? I’m still a good fighter, it’s not like I can’t take care of myself.”

Izzy helped him pick up the pieces of armor from the floor and handed them to him. “I know you can, because I checked over your last x-rays a dozen times. I still worry about you and so will Jace and Magnus for a while because we love you, and we don’t want to see you hurt again. I know you want to get back into work and I know you’re all better now but you aren’t the only one that’s been having nightmares; Jace and I have kind of been sharing a room for the past few weeks.”

Alec’s expression softened. He’d had no idea. “Izzy, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

She nodded, looking sullen. “It’s okay, he didn’t really want you to find out. Just be patient with him, he felt everything that you did, and feeling you almost slip away… he can’t let it go and he can’t bear the thought of losing you again.” 

She gave him a pointed look, one that meant he needed to be the big brother and take care of Jace, even if that meant letting Jace take care of him. 

…………

Jace was sulking, and talking quietly with Izzy when Alec came to meet them at the door of the institute. The blonde looked so upset, face lowered, and shoulders slumped as Izzy brushed his hair back in a comforting gesture. 

They turned as they saw Alec, and all tension melted from Jace’s face, as he broke out in a smile. 

Alec didn’t often care about how he dressed, unless he was trying to impress Magnus, but even he was embarrassed by his unusual attire. 

Shadowhunters only wore armor when going into heavy battle, and even then, the armor was light and flexible. But a forsaken was not classed as heavy battle and the armor Jace had given him was anything but light. It was bulky and restrictive, made out of thick, hardened leather. Alec could barely move while wearing it, and had to waddle over to his two siblings.

No credible shadowhunter would wear such ridiculous armor, but the smile on Jace’s face was worth it. 

“I know I was the one who told you to wear that, but you still look like an idiot.”

Alec smiled back, seeing the relief in Jace’s eyes when he knocked on the chest plate and found it to be solid. 

“Yeah, whatever, let’s get going you worry wart.”

The forsaken had been spotted a few blocks from the institute, which wasn’t a long walk except Alec had to lug around the stupid armor. He was grateful when they finally spotted the poor, mutilated thing, but found he couldn’t even raise his bow to fight, let alone notch an arrow. 

Jace and Izzy surged forward, as Alec hung back, resigning himself to just watch as they took on the monster themselves. The forsaken was pretty large, and very strong, and Jace and Izzy were taking it down together. 

Izzy would attract its attention so that it would attack her and Jace could stab at it from behind, until it turned on him and Izzy would attack it instead. The plan would have worked, if the forsaken hadn’t found a new target and charged right at it. 

It let out a guttural yell of rage as it lumbered towards Alec, who couldn’t manage to pull out his seraph blade before it tackled him to the ground. Alec let out a grunt as he hit the concrete, all the air being pushed out of his chest as the thing landed on top of him. 

Jace and Izzy screamed in terror as they watched, sprinting over to try and help. 

Jace watched his brother go down, hitting the pavement, hard, and disappearing under the mass of the forsaken. He was trained for battle, to concentrate on what needed to be done, and he knew he had to focus on killing the beast if he wanted to save his brother. But all his training was thrown out the window and at that moment, he couldn’t think like a soldier. Because he wasn’t just a shadowhunter, he was also a little brother and the constant nightmares about losing his Parabatai were coming true before his eyes. Again.

His seraph blade fell from his hands as he stumbled, yelling for his best friend, and his heart leapt inside his chest at the thought that Alec might be hurt again. 

Izzy took down the forsaken herself, stabbing it through the heart and kicking the carcass off the Nephilim on the ground. 

Alec groaned as he scooted away from the body, one arm wrapped protectively around his chest as he heaved in labored breaths. 

Jace fell to his knees beside him and frantically pressed his hands to the others chest, searching for injuries or breaks in the armor. 

“Oh, my god, Alec. Are you okay? God, I’m so sorry.”

His hands were shaking as he pulled at the straps, tearing off the armor and pressing careful fingers to Alec’s ribs to check for breaks. But he couldn’t concentrate enough to check properly, getting himself into a panic as his eyes blurred with tears. 

Alec took Jace’s hands in his and tried to calm him down, but the blonde pulled his hands free and tried again to check the other boy over. 

“Jace, I’m okay, it just winded me. Stop, I’m all right.”

Jace shook his head, hands clenching in his big brother’s shirt as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breathe through his choppy breaths. 

“No, it’s not. It’s not okay, I shouldn’t have ignored the way our rune felt, I should have found you right away.”

Alec didn’t know what he was talking about, he shook his head and tried to get Jace to look at him.

“Ignored what? Jace, calm down, take a deep breath.”

The blonde sucked in a shuddering breath, looking at Alec with so much guilt, he didn’t know how he held it all. 

“The day you got taken by that seelie, I could feel something was wrong. You were scared and in pain but it wasn’t that bad so I just thought you were having a fight with Magnus or something. I didn’t find you fast enough, Alec, it’s my fault she hurt you and I’m so sorry.” 

He sat back on his haunches and cried, all the guilt he’d been holding spilling out at once.

Alec shook his head. “Jace, I don’t blame you, and it wasn’t your fault. She’s the one that hurt me, not you. Hey, look at me.” 

Those bright eyes turned to him, begging for forgiveness, and Alec carefully wiped a stray tear away with a curled finger. 

“Our job is dangerous, and we get hurt all the time, if we listened to our runes every time they said something was mildly wrong, we’d never leave each other’s side. I never once thought you abandoned or forgot about me, Jace. I was actually hoping you wouldn’t come, so that she couldn’t hurt you too. 

“But you came and you saved me because that’s what we do, we protect each other. I’m sorry, I worried you and I’m sorry that I didn’t think about how you’d be feeling about all of this. But I promise that I’m okay, and that I’m not mad at you.”

Jace sniffed, nodding as he wiped a hand over his face. He’d been holding in his feelings ever since they rescued Alec, and it felt good to have finally talked about it. Alec offered his brother a smile and pulled him in for a hug. 

“Come here, I love you brother.” 

Jace held on tight, feeling better than he had in weeks. “I love you, too.”

Izzy smiled behind them. “I know you two are having a nice moment, but I did stop the forsaken by myself.” 

Jace laughed and dried his face, reaching up to take her hand and pull her into the family hug. 

“Come here, Izzy dizzy.” 

Alec pulled the two into his arms and squeezed them tight. “You know I won’t ever leave you guys.”

Izzy and Jace answered at the same time. “We know.”

“Good because, even though this armor saved my life, I still hate it and I never want to wear it again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support and comments they make me so happy and I really hope you enjoyed this. Feel free to come to my tumblr and talk or request a fanfic!! My url is the same as my author name on here and I'm taking prompts for shadowhunters, macgyver (the reboot) and voltron (klance) including whump!

**Author's Note:**

> im soooooo evil im so sorry but I'll make it all better eventually I promise


End file.
